The Kia Bongo/Besta/K-Series

The worst thing ever exported by South Korea is this.

The second worst thing to ever come from the friendly side of the Korean Peninsula is Kia. I don’t know why, but I absolutely loathe this brand. As I’ve shown before, parent company Hyundai isn’t horrible. Even with fellow Oklahoman (and Thunder dream player) Blake Griffin as a spokesman, I still hate Kia.

I think my ire stems from the presentation of the brand. In its adverts, Kia presents itself as a “luxury” brand. That’s an outright lie. Calling Kia a luxury brand would be like calling Spam a Porterhouse T-Bone Steak. It’s not just untrue, but this claim is insulting to other brands like BMW and Lexus.

For example’s sake, the Kia Cadenza is a new full-size sedan that benefits from the ads mentioned above. There is one big problem with this: it looks like a 2007 Toyota Avalon on the inside. In 2013, anything luxury has to have a touchscreen. PERIOD.

Enough on this rant, let’s get to the topic at hand. Kia sells a work truck called the Bongo. It isn’t sold in the US, so I haven’t driven it. I’m sure it isn’t awesome though. It probably would make me uncomfortable. Waluigi wouldn’t even touch it with a ten foot pole, and he’ll touch anything.

The Bongo is made in several different countries and has about 17000 different names. I won’t list them here out of a combination of ire and malaise. Who names a car a Bongo?

Donkey Kong named this car. I just know it. Maybe I can’t stand Kia because Donkey Kong is the President of Kia Motors. That makes sense.

Kia is lame, and the featured image above is from Wikimedia Commons, a site neither associated with, nor currently endorsing BoomPopMedia.

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  1. Pingback: Kia Report: Kia Cadenza | BoomPopMedia

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