The BRADcast: China Buffet Satisfaction

Sweet and sour chicken?  Yes! Fried Rice? Of course.  Crab Rangoon?  You bet.  Is there anything better than a Chinese buffet?  I’m not sure about you, but I can’t think of many things that compare to the tasty joys of Chinese cuisine in an all-you-can-eat format.  It’s a fairly recent enjoyment that I’ve discovered over the past couple years.  It’s clearly not a pleasure you’d want to experience every day, but perhaps once every few weeks.  As with most things that bring us this much pleasure, moderation is the key.

Yes, sometimes you have to deal with things at the Chinese buffet that you may not have to experience at other food places.  For example, once I stepped into the men’s room and found that somebody had evidently had too many egg rolls, and left the evidence right on the floor for everyone to see.  Now, that’s about as dramatic as things get the Chinese buffet.  Most other times, the worst thing that could happen is if the General Tso’s Chicken had been sitting out a tad too long. Not that it matters.  I’ll likely eat it anyway.

What’s great about my current buffet of choice is that you get so much more to choose from than just great Chinese food.  Seriously, it’s a fat guy’s dream come true,  In a previous lifetime, I probably wouldn’t be able to practice as much moderation as I preach in the first paragraph.  But anyway at the place I’m speaking of, in addition to your usual array of tasty Asian morsels, you can also Americanize your intake with roast beef, chicken, mashed potatoes, onion rings, and macaroni and cheese!  I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  I have found that sweet and sour chicken goes really well with mac and cheese.   I think it goes without saying, but you obviously should come hungry.  By the time you help yourself to a couple plates of this multi-cultural smorgasbord, you’ll be stuffed to the brim.  Just be careful not to stuff yourself too much. (See paragraph #2)

If you’re still hungry (though I rarely am by this point), there are also plenty of desserts to satisfy your sweet tooth.  I’m not sure what most of it is, but it looks like it could be good.  And then, there’s always ice cream if you prefer your sweetness frozen.  I like the bananas in the strawberry sauce, or whatever it’s called, but that’s just my personal preference.

I think Chinese buffets speak to something about the American culture.  You can walk in, pay a limited amount, and have an hour or more of heavenly delight.  I’m not sure whether there are actually Chinese buffets in heaven, but I find it hard to believe that something so divine would be left exclusively for us earthly beings.  I have a birthday coming up, and I’m not going out to some sports bar or fancy restaurant.  No, I’ll tell you where the party is.  It’s under the sneeze guard at the local Chinese buffet!  And it’ll be one hell of a party!

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